Time

How can time go so fast yet so slow. Seriously, last Monday feels like it was months ago. It has now only been 3 months since Landon passed, and really it feels like years! Yet I look at Paige and she is 4.5 years old. What! She is getting soo big, I cannot believe she is going to be 5 and in Kindergarten soon! It really blows my mind! Now 1 year ago I was sitting in a hospital, trying to get doctors to figure out what on earth was going on with my sweet boys tummy. That feels like a long time ago. I hate that it feels so long ago, I mean I want the time to go by fast so that this whole grief thing gets easier, but really it feels like it has been years since I held and kissed him. Does it really get easier with time. I don't know.

Ok enough of the sad stuff, on a more positive note, I have had a much better week. We went to church on Saturday and my mom went with Paige and I. I feel so much at home there. And i really think it gives me strength to get through the week. We have been keeping busy and Paige and I ran around the backyard having races and playing tag, I really was not sure I could role out of bed this morning! I was sore! It takes alot of butt muscle to take off on a ready, set, go! My left cheek muscles are very soar, so today I made sure I used the other leg as the take off leg. I know, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!!

I have been looking at obits in the newspaper lately, I know it sounds crazy! But in the last few weeks I have seen a few babies that have passed and I have really wanted to do something. As mom's we greive differently than dad's. I have been thinking about starting a type of mom's group. A group of mom's that have lost a child that get's together, to go to dinner, or drinks, or movies. Like a mommy's night out but you all have that one thing in common. Does that sound like a good idea? Any thoughts that you guys might have please let me know. I know they have group support and stuff, but this would be for mom's who want to get there mind off things for a while. Maybe I feel like that would be of help to me, but I don't know, I am single, maybe someone with a spouse would not like to do that?

Paige had her last night of gymnastics and they had a Halloween party, and this is her costume for now, She thinks she might try something different for the actual Halloween. She is an ice skater. As she says, An Ice Skater without ice skates. Cute huh! I gave her the choice of doing gymnastics again or swim lessons, she wants swim lessons. So next task, find swim lessons that work with our schedule!