Complex

ok, so I talked to the therapist about Paige and the unrealistic talkings about brother/sister and that it is becoming an issue. She definitaly thinks that this is her way of dealing with the loss of Landon. She said that I need to be very carefull wih dealing with it because if Paige does not have this form of expressing herself, se could just shut down. She said even though she is not suggesting in play that this brother/sister is Landon, she said it really could be. So although I did not tell Paige she could not talk like this anymore, I just basically told her she needed to try and talk about things like gymnastics, what she did over the weekend and so forth, basically things that were real. So last night I got smacked in the face. She was getting dressed to go to gymnastics and she said my brother Landon, and she stopped and looked at me as if she got caught doing somehing she was not supposed to. Then she said, oh yeah, I am not supposed to talk about him.... I said oh Paige you can talk abut Landon as much as you want, I said it is just your pretend brother, and she said with force, Landon is my pretend brother! So, I repeated myself, You can talk about Landon as much as you want to whom ever you want. Yikes, this is soo complex!! So, I am done with the worrying about it. I think she gets the point and I just have to realize that this is impacting her more than I ever would have imagined!!! She has been talking about him soo much lately. She came into the kitchen yesterday and said, mommy we forgot kisses for Landon, I thought she wanted to give me a kiss for him, she then proceeded to kiss her hand and blew it up to the sky!! She is sooo awesome!
Gymnastics went soo well, she is soo outgoing! She loved it, and it will be soo good for her. She is not very coordinated, and I soo hope that the 4 short weeks of this will help alot! We will practice at home too!! Going back to work full time, I have to find a program that is on the weekend and it is very difficult to find anything! That is frustrating as a fulltime worker and fulltime mom!! The good thing is we have 2 cities that are the same distance from the house and hopefully more options! Wish me luck!