Better Day

Today, I am at work with my sweet girl. She did not have school today, so I brought her to work with me until my mom picks up after we all go to lunch! Now that's a good Friday! Today I take inspiration (as usual) from Nie Nie's blog! What love her and Mr Neilson have for each other and the strength they share! I envy the love they have for each other!
The sun is shining and it is supposed to be a beautiful weekend. I am hoping to get some time outside, sitting and reading book 4 of the Twilight series. The 4th and final! I am very excited to see where this story goes!
Thanks for all of your prayers this last week, it has been stressful, strength only goes so far before it hits like a Mack Truck at some point.
I am soo blessed with such great family and friends!
I will go in on November 2 to see the surgeon and biopsy whatever is in my armpits.

Today

Today I feel emotional, Today I woke and layed in bed and cried,
Today I pretended my sweet boy was laying next to me in bed, Today I long to hold him, hold his hand and kiss his sweet, chubby cheeks. Today I cried on the way
to work.

Today, like everyday, I miss him so much, I miss everything
about him.

Very Confused.........

First off The mammo results are fine, nothing to worry about! Thank you Lord for that!

I am really confused because I have very visible lumps/swelling in my armpits. When I originally went to the doctor a few months ago, he said the lump felt like a cyst and unless it grew it should be ok. So it grew from pea size to a quarter size. I can reach in and grab ahold of it. He also originally told me if it did not go away they would remove the "cyst" and biopsy it. So when I went in on Monday, that is what I was expecting. He felt the "cyst" and said, yes it has definitely changed...................but more conern was that I now have something in my left pit as well. They are both very visible to the human eye..................So before they did the mammo, they did an ultrasound of my "cysts" and were not even going to do a mammo........???? I told the sono lady after she sono'd my pits, that I was there for a mammo, not sono's of my pits! She said, oh we like to start here and if they feel they need the mammo they will do it. I said are you sure! Told her I have dealt alot with docs quite and alot of mistakes/misdiagnosis's have been made! Told her the doc told me if the mammo came back ok they would take out the "cyst" and send in for biopsy. She said you don't have a cyst in your armpit................WHAT! What the Hell is in my armpits. She said I should not have told you that, the doc will be right in. Well she leaves, comes back in and says they are going to do a mammo. Go do the mammo, which they told me would take 10 days to get the results. Well the lady did the mammo and said she is going to have the doc come back. OK! I am terrified of course. The doc came back and said everything looks great! Lymphs look good and no lumps in the breast. I say well that's great, but what the hell is growing in my pits! (ok well I did not say that to her but-- really, what the hell is it!) She told me to check up with my doc, but they probably would not want to see me for a month or two. Ok, now everyone I have talked to, my docs included tell me there is never a reason you should have lumps in your pits! SO I am very confused and have a call into my doctors office to see what they want to do from here! I know my pits were huge and lumpie when I was pregnant, but that went away. My sisters both have the same thing when they are PG. SO why can I grab this thing in my armpit and it is growing but it is not a cyst? UGGH! Well I am very pleased with the fact I do not have breast cancer! Will update more when I know anything, if there is anything to know. Why do doctors make me feel like I am 100% crazy! I am not this paranoid freaky lady :)

Enough Already............

UPDATE--Blood Tests came back NORMAL!!! WHOOT WHOOT! See what tomorrow's mammo brings!

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I went to the Doctor a few months back because I had a lump under my right armpit. He said he didn't think it was anything serious, but to give it 45 days and if it grew or did not go away to go back in. It has gotten bigger and I now also have a lump under my left armpit. I had another appointment today to check it out again. He said it has definitely changed and said the left one was very noticeable. He did a breast exam and I have fibroid cysts, which I have always been told. So he is sending me for a mammogram to make sure none of the cysts are anything to worry about. I had labs drawn to check my white cells. UGH!!!! Can I please have a break!
I was feeling good, although a bit worried as I walked in, I really thought he was gonna say oh, they are just cysts and not to worry, we'll take em out biopsy just to be safe and be done with it! I wasn't feeling so sure when I walked out! Please pray this is just nothing as I think it most likely is---Nothing! The mammogram is Wednesday! I am 33, I really thought I didn't have to have one of those nasty things for a good 7 years or so!

She did it!

We went yesterday and got her ears pierced. They pierced both at the same time. She was a bit nervous but not hesitant at all. she did cry just a bit of course, and I choked my tears back! I just took these pics, and she is way more interested in the Mickey Mouse club on TV, than taking pics. Her earings are pretty white daisy's. Today is my parents 40th anniversary. Happy Anniversay mom and dad. We are heading to have a picnic with them and my sisiter's family. Loving this weather.

Sass and Vinegar

That is what my sweet little girl is full of these days! She has such a grown up little attitude. Full of love, life, laughter, and so much fickin sass! I was down stairs ironing my shirt this morning, she was up watching cartoons, when the phone rang. I yelled up and asked her to answer it. I was shocked whne she actually did, usually it goes in one ear and out the other. I heard her talking and yelled "Who Is it?" She yelled It's not for you, It's my dad, -- full of sass!
I went home the other night with her Broncos Cheerleading outfit. I thought she would be soo excited. Well I got the complete opposite reaction. She crossed her arms, stomped her foot and began to cry..... "That's not what I wanted......." Oh my! So she refused to wear it! I am not sure what she thought a Broncos Cheerleader was, but obviously the outfit was not right! She watches Imagination Movers, and I don't know.... Is there a monkey on that show? That's what she wants to be for Halloween...........A MONKEY! Ok cheerleader! Whatever you say!
We are going to maybe get her ears peirced this weekend. I made the mistake of telling her they take the gun and pierce your ears with it...... OOPPS! I meant a ear piercing gun/device thingy! So she thinks she is gonna get shot in the ear! Tough to explain to a 5 year imagination how they peirce your ears! I am not real sure if she will actually go through with this! We'll see.

Mission for the weekend................Find a Monkey Costume--LOL!

Where are the days going?????

Wow, I just learned that today is Wednesday and not Tuesday! WOW! As I put on my socks this morning I remember thinking, ugh it's only Tuesday! I just looked at mckmama's blog and thought how is she posting for Wednesday when it is only Tuesday, I had to check my inbox to see the date. WEIRD!
The days are going so fast/ weeks even. Seems with Paige in school, we come home eat, do homework, trying to read 15-20 minutes each night. That seems like a short time, but really that is a long time for me to keep Paige's attention. But she does great. We finished her homework last night and she wanted to do more!! Awesome! I hope this keeps up!
Bribing works wonders folks, it really does :=
We got her Halloween Costume today, she is going to be a Broncos Cheerleader.
The sun is out and it is warming up!
October is the month 2 years ago that we ended up in the Hospital with Landon....It is the past, but for some reason those memories come back as fresh as if it were yesterday. The season is soo strong. Feelings and emotions all come back. I was standing in the kitchen and paused....I don't know if it was the sound of the fridge, or the lighting but it just took me back 2 years ago. It reminded me of standing in the family kitchen at Children's getting my morning coffee. Holding my sweet boy day and night for a month in the hosptial. As much as I hated it, and as sick as he was, I was holding him. I would not wish that back because he was soo sick.....but I miss him so much!

Snowy Dayz

Cold, Feverish weekend

I picked Paige up from School about 6p on Friday, they were in gym playing around. She saw me and ran over and jumped on me and went almost completely limp with her head on my shoulder. I asked her if she was ok and she said, I am just really tired. I took her out to get a drink of water, she was sooo weak feeling. The after school teacher said she had been acting fine and they were running all over. I took her home and she had a 100.7 temp....that quickly jumped to 101.5, I gave her motin right away, she wanted to go straight to bed, but I wanted her where I could see her. So she layed on the couch, of course the moting kicked in, although her temp did not drop too much, she felt better. The fever lasted through Saturday night. I put her to bed and it broke. She complains of a soar throat, but she has been without a fever since Sat night, so off to school she went today. It snowed again this weekend and barely topped 30 degrees, so we stayed home all weekend in our jammies! Felt good. We did make it out for a quick snowball fight yesterday.
Last night we watched her favorite show, Extreme Home Makeover. She was a bit sad afterwards, seeing a family of 13 brothers, sisters, cousins all in the same house. It is just her and I and she was sad that her brother is not physically in her life. She said "I just wanted Landon to grow" breaks my heart!!! She said she would feel safer if Landon was with us and I told her he was watching over her every move and she was very safe with her little Angel!

Its Snowing...........

It is snowing here in CO, very pretty with the colorful trees.
I guess this means Summer is officially OVER...
That means, putting alot of puzzles together.......getting Paige to bed........and sitting on the heating pad while I watch my favorite TV shows, before I snoooooozzzzzz on the couch.
I must say the fall lineup with new shows has proven to be much better then past years.
Saturday night I watched Trauma..........WOW! The first 15 minutes I almost fell off the couch it was packed with drama and action!
And Cougar Town is hilarious!!! I just have to find time for dishes, laundry, vacuuming, yoga................
I need to boost my energy as fall/snow has me a bit lazy!

Paige is doing great! Loving school, no migraine for a week, I did give her motrin this morning as we had a 30 degree temp drop.........just in case!
She loves putting together puzzles and in fact other than a bit of homework and a quick episode of Handy Manny, that is about all we have been doing.
And of course it is fire safety week, uugghh! Not good for a child who is terrified of fire........bedtime was a bit of a struggle, but I bribed with candy and it worked, so croosing my fingures it continues to work, I do not want another month of not going to bed cause we're too scared!

Mito

Ugh, this disease is nasty, and this time of year is horrible for children with mitochondrial diseases. I follow alot of kiddos on blogs and caringbridge and so many of them are struggling right now. Please say a prayer for all the mito kiddos stuggling with this yucky cold/flu season.
Here is a great video on energy and mito.
http://www.youtube.com/mitoaction#play/all/1/6_2oN1oTK-g

October Pics