"Things"

These are a few "things" that are going on around here.

Paige started ballet. I was afraid she was not going to go, it is at her preschool and in the past she has been there already because I was always at work. She loves to be at home and I really was suprised that I was able to get her to go without a fight or bribe. She of course, said it was going to be boring, but had lots of fun!

She has been using big words lateley. The other morning she told me I was exagerating with what I was saying. Then she said if she ate to many chocolate chips it would be a disaster. She tells me to hussle out of her room. Just funny words bigger words.

She really has been missing Landon lateley. You would think that at 4 she would not be soo aware of what is going on around her. I was reading her a Angelina Ballerina book and she has a smaller boy cousin, Henry, and Angelina wants to go the fair with her friends but she has to take Henry and she says in the book she does not like little boys... While reading it to Paige last night, she said, that is not nice, I miss my little boy brother. She is aware that people sometimes, even though not meant literally, take others for granted. She see's other kids with there siblings and misses that. I hate that alot! I hate that my little girl is the best big sister ever and that she cannot be that! She knows Landon watches her every move but physically she cannot have that brother sister stuff!

Ok, so I added a song "Love Remains the Same". I have heard this song every time I turn around. I mean everywhere, not only that but I turned on the Ellen show for the first time in months and he was on there signing this song. So I decided to take a good long listen to it. It really has alot of meaning to it to me. I have learned through everything to open myself up more. I can't really say that I was shut before, I have always enjoyed life and felt it, but nothing to the extent that I have learned to. Not only from the experience itslef but from the people I have met along the way. I talked to a lady from Hospice who lost her 30 year old daughter to cancer 3 years ago. She gave me a big hug and she said as much as this all sucks, amazing things will happen.

Sorry for the sideways pics. I do not know how to turn them...

Days sliding by

We have had a busy few days. Kim's 31st B-day and Abby's 7th B-day. WE spent our weekend up in Estes. It was loads of fun. We swam at the Stanley both days, Paige loves to swim! She wears her water wings and she constantly is getting out to jump in. They played alot on the tire swing, Paige loves this almost as much as she does swimming. She is taking in everything in life and is dealing with the loss of her brother as well as a 4 year old knows how to. She brings him up a few times a day, usually enough to say she misses him. We give hugs and move onto to the next thing in her life might be at that time.
Life goes by soo fast. Abby is going to be 7 tomorrow. I cannot beleive that 7 years have gone by. It seems like yesterday that I was going up on the weekends to take care of her while Kim worked. Abby could not go to daycare because of her hemangioma on her eye, so I watched her on the weekends. She was my life, I loved seeing her and spending time with her and still do. She is amazing. We looked at pics from when she was a baby and a toddler and I can bareley remember her being soo small. I look at Paige's baby pics and it is the same, time goes by way too fast! I wish that you could pause the wonderful moments in life!
I missed Landon tons this weekend, although I knew his spirit was constantly with us. I went to the cemetery today to water the flowers and say prayers. After I was done with my prayers I looked up to the sky to really feel the moment. I felt the cool air flow through my hair and looked into the prettiest blue sky and after a few moments a very easy flowing bird, with beautiful soaring wings appeared and flew right over the top of me and into the distance. It was beautiful.